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The transition from one baby, to two can be intimidating, humbling, exciting, nerve-racking, and even sometimes straight up chaos. You’ll go through moments of guilt, excitement, panic, and probably a lot of “oh sh*t I forgot about that” moments. You may not even have time to think about this new baby as much as you did with your first, and that’s completely normal, you have another child keeping you preoccupied. You’re gonna find yourself, wanting to lay on the couch with your oldestand just cuddle, because you never know when that will be the last solo child cuddle. You’ll probably shed a lot of tears, ask “is this the right timing?” a lot, and ask “how am I going to do this with TWO?”, “how will I love this baby as much as I love my first born?”.
Lemme tell you a secret. It’s going to be okay. When that new babe is here, it’ll all feel perfect. Something just clicks. You heart will be so full. Like you’ll have even more LOVE. Right now, you are probably wondering how that is even possible. I remember, girlfriend, been there, it is REAL.
Side note* I usually don’t write these blogs in one sitting #momlife. I usually sit down and write when the kiddos go to bed, and we had a good day. You’ll understand. Trust me, we have more good days than bad, and I honestly didn’t expect that, even while I am #soloparenting.
Let’s paint a picture. You’re changing your newborns diaper, you ask you older babe to hand you some wipes…SMACK, they throw them right at your face, or you babies face. Lol okay, but for real, you’ll have moments like that. You have two choices (can you tell I parent a toddler “two choices” lololol), you can get upset about it, or you can ignoreit, because there will be those moments, where the older sibling is SO helpful. I have experienced it firsthand. You will figure out every one’s grove. You will have a big helper. You’ve got this.
Let’s get a little more personal with my situation. I have a 2.5-year-old, and a 7 month old. Yes, we are crazy. Lately, these kids have been HEAVEN, knock on wood. My oldest has been so helpful. Runs to brother when he is crying, says “Okay, brother?” HEART MELT. Helps get brother up from nap, picks out clothes, helps with diapers, make sure he is fed, and sometimes even shares his toys.
As soon as your newbie is born, you’re old youngest will seem SO old. Like he will just seem so much more mature than he was like 3 minutes ago. I say he, because that’s what I got, but you know what I mean. You kind of, for a lack of a better word, “forget”, that they are still young, but not in a bad way. Yes, you will still need to tend to their every waking need, but you also realize how much they can do on their own, give them this opportunity to grow, and learn how they can be helpful. It will blow you away, I can almost promise that.
You’ll probably survive on some sort of caffeine. My kiddos don’t sleep through the night, neither one of them, so we call our parenting style #survivalmode. You’ll do what’s right for your family. You’ll again have all these ideas of how you will parent. I still laugh at myself for some of the things I said I wouldn’t do, and would do. Here I am, though. Still killin’ it. You’ll have times where you think you cannot do it anymore. You’ll have times where you might call your kids assholes, and ya know what? That’s also okay. You’ll have days where you are doing ALL. THE. THINGS. While feeling SO good about it. The next day you might crash, and just do the bare minimum. That’s still okay. Somedays, you’ll be 100% focused on the kids, and having activities planned, and executing them like the boss parent you are. Somedays, you’ll want to lock yourself in the closet, and aimlessly scroll through social media. STILL OKAY. Are you understanding me? All your thoughts and feelings are normal.
You are also probably figuring out how you are going to spend quality time with both children. It really isn’t that easy, but you make it work. You always do. Make time to go on solo dates with your oldest, or keep one of them up a little bit later, do something special once in a while. You likely won’t have as much laying around bonding time with your newborn, like you did with your first born. You will have two babes to take care of. It’ll still feel right though. You will have moments you feel guilty, once both of them are asleep, you’ll think something along the lines of “Did I pay enough attention to my oldest?”, “Did I give my youngest everything he needs?”, “What could I have done better?”. STOP IT. Stop it right now. You are doing amazing. Promise.
You are going to be okay. I promise. There are so many details I could go into, but I wanted to ease your mind a little first. I will be writing up a “part two” answering people specific questions. Be on the lookout for that. As always…
Stay Confident <3