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Its THEE day. The day we all dread, every damn time. I don’t care if this is your first time away from your soldier, or your hundredth time. It sucks every time. Don’t pretend you are all high and mighty, and “I got this, I don’t need him/her”. Obviously we got this, we don’t have a choice. Obviously, we figure it out every time, and get into our own routine. That doesn’t mean we don’t miss them. My husband is my best friend, the one I could probably spend every second of everyday with. (hello, we are living in a pandemic, seeing each other so much, and we are still both alive lol).
The things that irk me are the “thank goodness he is gone; I can finally live my life.” Or any sentence like that! Sorry hater, we probs aren’t gonna be friends. Don’t be that spouse.
Any who, back to THEE DAY. I let you in on how mine goes, I’m usually a HOT FREAKING MESS. I thought this was hard without kids, and it was going to be easier with kids to keep me busy. Sorry, sister. FALSE NEWS. Well, for me anyway. ITS SO DAMN HARD. The first day ( and a couple leading up to it), have a lot of tears. I’m emotional though, I cry when I’m mad, sad, happy, thankful, ALL THE TEARS, always. (sorry I’m screaming so much). But I also am good at hiding emotions around anyone but my husband…told ya, hot mess.
Day one, I give myself a lot of grace, I throw my pity party, I cry, I let my toddler have his tablet way too much, I lay on the floor, I don’t get much done, I simply just survive, and complain. I also brainstorm, what are we going to do to stay busy, what crafts can we do, where can we go (this is EXTRA hard right now, thanks corona.), how can we split up our day, how can I get my me time, who will come hang out with us (also hard right now)?
Now, I am a stay at home mom, we have some time to kill. I even resorted to applying for jobs, start the process of daycare research, because I was THAT nervous this time around. 2 under 2 is no joke. I realized how much stress that could cause on my kiddos though, that have never been away from me for more than a few hours. So I turned down a job, didn’t get the other, and am continuing to be a SAHM. I will also mention I am on day 2 of solo parenting, and we KILLED IT TODAY. But not so much yesterday.
There will be “hell yeah, I got this” days, there will be “is it bed time yet?” at 10AM days. You will get through it.
If I wasn’t a stay at home mom, I would suggest getting a job or two to keep you busy and make those days flllly by, find a hobby, hang out with your pals you don’t get to see much, TRAVEL.
If you are like me, and have kids, I suggest making a calendar. Maybe get the kids to make a countdown ring. No matter if it’s a week in the field, 2 months at a school, or a 9-month deployment. It is something to look forward to. On an actual calendar, fill it up as much as possible. Schedule play dates, put birthdays up on it, write down who will be in town, write down appointments, anything that you can think of, it’ll give you little things to look forward to.
Another thing my husband and I like to do is have a fitness competition. I won’t lie, we treat ourselves the few days before he leaves, ya know, ice cream, Starbucks, ordering food in. Then the day he leaves, its ON. So pick something you both love, and make a it a little friendly competition, push each other, tease each other, make the separation a little more bearable.
If he/she has cell service and can facetime often, watch a movie together, or both have the same card game and play together, its sounds corny, but it makes life feel a little more “normal”. Just always try to find something you can do TOGETHER.
The best part is… YOU WILL FIGURE IT OUT. You’ll get into a routine; you’ll find your groove. Will you have hard days? Absolutely. You will have so many good one, focus on that. I know it’s easier said than done, I’m on day 3. 1 was okay, I was killin’ it on day 2, and day 3 was a mess. Now I’m sitting in bed at 8PM on a Friday night, telling you, it’ll be okay, have confidence in that.
So now, go curl up in a ball in bed, or on the couch, turn on some trash TV, or start a series that has a lot of seasons and episodes, and pretend you are living someone else life for a little while. That was some expert advice from my mother-in-law.
You’ve got this. Promise me you’ll do what’s best for you, and take care of yourself, while trying to keep other humans and pets alive, if you got ‘em. Like pinky promise. I’ve got your back, and so do other military spouses.
**WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER**
…did I age myself again? Any other high school musical lovers… or just Zac Efron lovers?? Okay, okay, back on topic. Lol. Ill keep it short and sweet this time.
Leave a comment with your hacks of doing this military life thing “on your own”!
Stay Confident <3 In yourself, in your relationship, in the process.